What Marriage means to me

Last night I was almost involved in a discussion about the same sex marriage bill, that is, I guess, going to be on the ballot here in my state.  I will openly admit, I am not political.  I do vote, but I don’t do so very responsibly…  I pay minimal amounts of attention to the issues at hand, and basically form a generic opinion of the candidates and laws and vote according to my gut feelings.  In my wiser, older age, I feel I have to become more educated, especially now that I’m a parent.  But, in regards to the same sex marriage issue, I have a more passionate and personal feeling on the matter…

Members of group with which I almost discussed gay marriage are about 15  years older than I am, and 100% more Republican.  They began spouting statements like, “I don’t understand why THEY have to have marriage, THEY already have domestic partnerships…”  This is where I went from blase to blaze.  I know my face turned blood red and once I was able to speak, think I said something like, “How are these PEOPLE any less than you?”  And after a brief defense in which marriage was strictly defined as a sacrament…the subject was quickly switched back to a debate about Obamacare…  Anyway…

Statements like those about why “they” want marriage, just makes me nutballs.  It brings to mind the voice of Hilly Holbrook in The Help, the voice of the Jim Crow era…  “Why do THEY need to use OUR water fountains/bathrooms/front bus seats when they have perfectly ‘fine’ ones of their own?  I do declaya…” Yaddayaddayadda…  Homosexuals are citizens of this country, deserving of Equal Rights.  Not Separate but Equal.  We all know that shit was crap.  Yes, I said that.  Maybe its redundant, but dammit, I’m mad, ok?  My vocab is impaired.

Gay people are people, right?  I mean, they are our doctors, waiters, neighbors, coworkers, sons/daughters, cousins, friends, etc, etc.  I would never say to anyone I know, especially one of my kids, “No Lala, you can’t marry that person you love because she has a vagina”  To me, that’s as ridiculous as saying “…because he has blue eyes.”

And, yes, my fellow Catholics, marriage, in the church, is a sacrament.  A union between a man and a woman to result in procreation…  *sigh*

But, not everyone sees it that way, and they cannot be forced to see it that way- Church & State and all that jazz. I am a Catholic, and I see marriage as a legal contract, that may or may not involve spirituality or religion, just as it may or may not involve joint bank accounts or the love of the same football team. Hubby and I did not get married in the Church, and because of that, some people don’t consider us really married.  This is more than insulting, and probably a little bit why I feel some kinship with homosexuals.   Marriage is pretty much the most intimate and personal union there is, and therefore, each one is unique and has it’s own rhyme, reason, rhythm.  I bristle when my friends or family comment on the fact that Hubby and I don’t share the same blanket in bed, so I for sure wouldn’t deign to say that a perfectly sane adult person can’t marry another perfectly sane adult person because they have similar dirty bits.

So if you want to marry someone from another country, another religion, another gender, or conversely, someone just like you, why shouldn’t you be allowed?  Have kids, don’t have kids, go to church, go to Ikea, whatever… It’s between the two of you and has nothing to do with any other person in the whole wide world. And your marriage should be as legally defined and sound as mine or anyone elses.

You know what my vote will be this November, or whenever that damn election is…

5 thoughts on “What Marriage means to me

  1. Oh my god, I seriously think you’re inside my head! This is my EXACT argument to those who say gay people can’t get married. What?? Why not? I love your “because he has blue eyes” analogy. And I am the most UN-political person ever. However this topic is just so stupid that it makes me insane when people try to defend the continual bans on gay marriage. It’s such horseshit.

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