I did then, and I still do!
In honor of our 5th anniversary tomorrow, I’m sharing with the blogisphere our wedding ceremony. We wrote this ourselves, with the guidance and suggestion of our officiant Rev Hope McNew.
“Welcome to all of you who are here today to share in the joy of this occasion. Scroogy and Hubby are thankful that you are here to celebrate with them.
“Love is a miraculous gift, and a wedding is a celebration of that magic, and that’s what we’re here to do today. We are gathered together to be overjoyed for and with Scroogy & Hubby, who are so wonderfully suited to one another that it’s a pure delight for the rest of us to see how very happy two people can be.
“When we think of love we sometimes talk about people who ‘deserve’ one another. Not only do these two deserve one another, but they are a perfect match, a pair, a fit, two hybrid peas in a pod; and their marriage, far from being something they have had to work hard to achieve was pure inevitability. They were given to one another and fell so deeply in love that they had no choice.
“They are the embodiment of true romance which, matured, becomes true love. (Side note… True Romance is one of our favorite movies.) They are the example of love that in its lightheartedness dissolves the notion that love has to be hard work. They are the promise of possibility, the expectation of joyful surprise.
“So, hooray! We’re here to celebrate, to honor, to laugh, to dance, and to be glad because the inevitable has happened. Love is alive and well in the land. Scroogy and Hubby are here to prove it, and we are here to celebrate with them!”
(As married Scroogy, I have to note here, really quick, that I forget in the hustle and hassle of married life/parenting how easy things used to be with Hubby and me. Re-reading the ceremony, this is really hitting home. We used to just be. Just have fun. It was easy and nice. We need to get back to that.)
“In this sacred and joyful moment we call upon the highest in Scroogy & Hubby (this is where Bestie cough-spoke “Ahem, that’s me!” Haha), the divine inner presence that always knows exactly what you need, that gives and asks the best of you, that brought you to love and has chosen for you the sweet commitment of marriage.
“For you we ask every blessing of this moment; a confirmation of the wisdom of your choice; great happiness on the path that is set before you; discretion; kindness; and care as you walk upon it; strength to live out your purpose; grace and peace throughout each step of your journey; and beloved friends to support you.
“May you be filled with joy. May you keep your promises with ease. May love abide with you always.”
Then my good buddy Murs read Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare. I love, love, love Shakespeare. Google this sonnet, Peeps. I’m sure you’ll recognize it right away. It’s, to me, the secular version of that popular wedding psalm. You know the one…
Next my other good friend D to the Ale read “I Love You” by Roy Croft. Definitely worth googling also, my friends. I cry every time I read it. My favorite part is, “I love you,/ For the part of me/ That you bring out;/ I love you,/ For putting your hand/ Into my heaped-up heart/ And passing over/ All the foolish, weak things/ That you can’t help/ Dimly seeing there,/ And for drawing out/ Into the light/ All the beautiful belongings/ That no one else had looked/ Quite far enough to find.” Tears, tears, tears.
Anyway, the ceremony continued:
“Scroogy & Hubby you have known each other for five and a half years, from the first phone call then the first glance of acquaintance when you finally met face-to-face, to this moment of commitment. At some moment you decided to marry.
“From that moment of yes until this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in and informal way. All those conversations that were held over a drink in Fells Point; or while walking and exploring around New York City; or on the beach in the Caribbean- all those sentences that began with ‘When we’re married’ and continued with ‘I will and you will and we will’- those late-night long-distance phone calls that included ‘someday’ and ‘somehow’ and ‘maybe’- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of wedding.
“The symbolic vows you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, ‘You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.’
“As you say the words that will join you in marriage, look at one another- remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last five years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never be quite the same between you. For after these vows you shall say to the world, ‘This is my husband. This is my wife.’
“Scroogy & Hubby, you are each taking into your care and keeping the happiness of the one person in all the world whom you love best. You are adding to your life not only the affection of each other, but also the companionship and blessing of a deep trust as well. You are agreeing to share strength, comfort, and responsibilities for the rest of your lives.
“In light of this, do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded spouses?
We said our “I dos” at this point and if I remember correctly, this is when I really started crying. I remember focusing just on him, and the rest of the room disappeared. He even wiped a tear off my cheek. Did the photographer capture that part? No. Dammit all.
“Delight in each moment of your being, for every understanding is noteworthy but few events in life are as momentous as marriage. We ask that you both, together and as you special selves, be honored and expanded by the promises you are about to make and in the marriage you are about to create. May the joy you feel today last for your lifetime together, and may love always be in your midst.
“Now before your families and friends, please repeat your vows to express your love and devotion to each other.”
Here comes my favorite part, Peeps!
“I choose you to be mine. I will laugh with you and cry with you, and share my life openly and honestly with you. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will treasure and respect you, comfort and encourage you, and together we will live, freed and bound by our love. As I’ve given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep.”
I love the freed and bound part. Because more than anything, falling in love with Hubby gave me such peace and lightness. Like I found my wings. True story. Stop rolling your eyes.
Then we exchanged rings. This part is boring. Haha. I know it’s symbolic and all, and I love jewelry, but, ya know. Whatevs. Hubby doesn’t even wear his wedding band. He uses it as a key chain. No joke.
Then, tada!!! We were pronounced Hubby and Wife!
“Now that you have heard the words about love and marriage, now that you have shown us the example of your love and celebrated your union by giving each other these beautiful rings, it is with great joy and happiness that I now say: by the power vested in me by the state of Maryland, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
“May the love in your hearts give you joy. May the greatness of life bring you peace. May your days be good and your lives be long upon the earth.
“Seal a promise, make a wish, then bind your hearts, with a wedding kiss.”
I love that little part in the end. A bit of bippity-boppity boo! Aww.
Then the party started right. Then the party started quickly, right? Sorry, that was just stuck in my head.
I hope you all enjoyed reading this little peek into one of the most special days of my life. I really love re-reading the ceremony every year. It helps remind me of who we were then, and helps me examine who we have become. Earlier this year, we were in a rough patch. But lately things have been so wonderful. I love him more today than the day we married. I didn’t know that was possible.