It happened again last night, Peeps. I had yet another one of those dreams… Murs and Bestie, you know the ones. *sigh* Okay, I’ll admit it for entire blogiverse…
I have fairly regular, very romantic, entirely captivating dreams about a guy friend from college. Eek. My secret is out.
Said friend and I never had a relationship of the sexual or romantic variety. Not even close to one. As far as I know, from his perspective, I was never anything more than his roommate’s on again/off again girlfriend or his buddy’s wife’s friend. Yes, we were connected by two separate friend circles. We also went to the same high school and college. Maybe it’s these random and varied and tenuous connections that make him pop up periodically in my dream world.
Maybe it’s the idea that we were never anything more than friendly. Maybe my subconscious sees him as a harmless fantasy figure. Someone that is unknown and unknowable. I know people who have had similar dreams and felt similar connections to celebrities. I was particularly fascinated by one friend and her Joaquin Phoenix dreams. Mmm… Joaquin… I should note though, that these dreams are never actually sexual. Just incredibly romantic, sensual, vividly tactile. Merely recalling last night’s escapade, I can still almost feel his cheek stubble on the curve of my neck.
Maybe it’s that he was always so kind to me. He was interested in what I had to say, he paid attention. He made me laugh during a time in my life when I was less than fulfilled. He treated me way better than that other guy did. And even after college, we kept in touch for a bit and he really wanted to be my friend. I always found that kind of amazing considering… well, considering my next point…
Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve always found him to be super hot. Haha. I remember thinking he was a cutie patootie even back in middle school. Oh, right, we went to middle school together too! I forgot that part. Anyway, when he we knew each other in college, I spent an absurd amount of time at his house (not to see him, I swear) and it was always a treat to see him fresh out of the shower, in nothing but a towel. Oh lawdy! Why am I admitting this in print? What am I thinking?
I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. I’m thinking that if I get this all out in writing- my expressive media of choice- that the dreams will stop. I mean, I’m a happily married woman. I love my husband. I have kids for chrissakes! It’s not like this guy will ever “get outta my dreams & get into my car” haha. As a matter of fact, the last time I saw him in person, I remember feeling very ooky. I relate it this way- I’ve always wanted to actually see a ghost, but if I’d ever truly encounter one, I’d want it to just go the fuck away. That’s how I felt the last time our paths crossed.
So, it’s time his mystique loses its power and I can get my dream on with someone else. Geesh.